This is My Story
by DobbysSock77
Summary: The story I am about to tell you might not be one that brightens your day, but it is a real one. If you're looking for an upside though, my story is full of friends, family and, quite literally, the love of my life.
1. Prologue

_My name is Haley Carlson and this is the story of how I died. You may be thinking, 'why would I want to hear a story that ends with death?' or 'Where's the happy ending?'. Well sorry to disappoint, but my story doesn't have a happy ending. Sure, there's no fairy tale ending, but it's certainly still worth telling. I'm going to go beyond the 'happily ever after', though I certainly see why stories normally end there. Not many people want to hear about how Cinderella realized marrying a guy she just met wasn't such a great idea, or how Ariel, who got married at sixteen and had a kid shortly after, realized she took on the responsibilities of being a wife and a mother before she could take on the responsibility of being an adult. If you're looking for an upside though, my story is full of friends, family and, quite literally, the love of my life; I'm one of the few people who can truly say that. He was the only guy I ever loved. Here's the kicker though! My relationship with him is what led me to my untimely death, but even if I could have another chance at life, I would fall in love with him all over again. The story I am about to tell you might not be one that brightens your day, but it is a real one._

_This is the story of how I fell head over heels for Sirius Black and how it ended in my demise._

*~~~*

So you might be thinking that, just because I know about a couple of Muggle fairy tale princesses I must be a Muggle. Well hate to break it to you, but you're wrong. I'm a Mudblood and proud of it! Some people take the term as an insult, but not me. I went eleven years thinking I was odd, a freak even, but when that letter came in the mail, everything finally made sense. Until then I'd been your atypical eleven year old girl... well sort of. You see, I'm not that pretty; with long brown hair and blue eyes, I blend right into a crowd. I get my eyes from my dad; or at least, that's what my mum says. My father died when I was six years old. He ended up getting really sick out of nowhere. Mum says the doctors did everything they could, but they just couldn't figure out what was wrong. We even went to St. Mungo's and everything but nothing worked. Unfortunately, I don't really remember much from when he was alive and for some reason, there aren't any pictures of him anywhere in the house. Mum remarried a couple years ago, she met a nice wizard in a bookstore and they hit it off right away. I must say, I certainly approve, he's very nice to her and I can tell they really do love each other. With sandy brown hair and green eyes, my mum says she melted at the sight of him. With me off at Hogwarts for most of the year, mum's always been a bit over protective. During my first year at Hogwarts, I think she literally wrote me a letter a day, and let me tell you, reading and responding to all those letters can be really over-whelming. Though lucky for me, she's been quite distracted this last year. I've been blessed with a baby brother, Timothy. With sandy brown hair and green eyes, he is the cutest thing anyone has ever seen, looking exactly like my step-father.

But enough of my family life, I should tell you more about my school life. My best friend is the resplendent and magnificent, Miss Lily Evans. We met way back in first year, on the train to Hogwarts and immediately bonded over the fact that we both came from Muggle families. We were both sorted into Gryffindor, shared a dorm, and took all the same classes and as such became practically inseparable. We quickly made friends with all the girls in our dorm but the first person we really took to was Alice. Alice was a sweet girl with short black hair and dark eyes that always seemed to shimmer with joy. Alice was lucky enough to hit it off with Frank Longbottom in her fourth year and they've been together ever since. At first I was a little upset, I mean, he did practically steal Alice away from us; but I ended up coming around. Frank was a great guy, being a fellow Gryffindor and all, and he and Alice just seemed right for each other. Lily, on the other hand was the unwilling corner of an awkward love triangle. She had Slytherin's Severus Snape and Gryffindor's very own poster boy, James Potter vying for her attention. If you ask me though, Potter was a real catch; jet black hair sticking out every which way and sparkling blue eyes, every girl at Hogwarts followed him around like a lost puppy. He was part of the infamous gang, the Marauders. The group was made up of four boys, all in Gryffindor, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black.

Everyone knew that James absolutely fawned over Lily and had done so for as long as anyone could remember, but Remus and Sirius on the other hand, were open for any girl to try and win their hearts. Remus had taken a more sensible approach and turned down nearly every doting admirer but Sirius accepted dates every other week. Sirius Black completely adored the attention he received from the many girls at Hogwarts; if you could call anyone a player, it would be him. I'm almost certain he's snogged half the girls in school by now.

I'd never really been one to date though. But then again, nobody had ever really asked me out. Well except for a few that weren't particularly attractive. Oh, but don't get me wrong, I'm not a petty teenage girl, In fact I'm not even very picky at all, but I'm not really fond of boy's who sweat constantly or tuck their pants into their socks. The thing was, nobody ever paid any attention to me. I was always surrounded by Lily and Alice and they were always surrounded by Frank and the Marauders'. It made social situations a little hectic and such that any guy who did show an interest in thought I was taken anyway!

My life was always normal and boring.

Well, until my seventh year of school.

That was the year he began to realise I was more than just Lily Evan's best friend.

That was the year when he really noticed me.


	2. Train Ride to Hogwarts

My mum drove through the traffic, dodging in between cars wherever she could. We were running late this morning and if we didn't get to the station soon I would miss the train. The windshield wipers were moving back and forth frantically as the rain pounded on the roof of the car. I stared at the window, watching the raindrops run down the side, placing bets on which one would be the first to reach the bottom. Timothy yawned quietly in the back and I turned around to watch him. He was sitting in his car seat playing with some stuffed animal, though I couldn't tell what it was due to the amount of dirt it had accumulated. Sitting on the seat next to him was a small cage where Solomon mewed quietly. Solomon was the cat I bought during my first year at Hogwarts. I was heading down Diagon Alley and entered a little pet shop off to the side. And there he was, sitting in a bin of black kittens; I immediately fell in love with him. He was all black except for his tiny white paws, which were just like socks. I'm not sure why, but the moment I saw him I knew he was a 'Solomon' and he's gone by that since I took him home that very day. Sure owls were useful and all, but why buy an owl when everyone else at school has one and I can just borrow a school owl if I have to send a letter? At least I could lay down with a cat, and cuddle with him when I was upset.

Mum came to a stop and raced out of the car, hurriedly acquiring a trolley for my things. As she ran back to the car, I unbuckled and rushed to open the backseat, pulling my trunk out and placing it on the trolley, then Solomon on top. Mum zipped over to unbuckle Timothy and once the car was locked we dashed inside the train station at top speed and went straight over to the space between Platforms 9 and 10. Then, taking a deep breath, we ran through the brick barrier, coming to a stop when the screech of owls and laughter of students rang in our ears. Most kids were already on the train so I turned to my family, ready to say a quick goodbye.

"Have a good semester dear, and write often," Mum said, pulling me into a tight hug, "Give my love to Lily and Alice won't you."

"Sure thing, and give a hug to dad for me," I said as I reached for Timothy, pulling him out of my mother's arms, "Be good now and I promise I won't be gone long."

I ruffled his sandy brown hair and kissed his fat cheek. Handing him back to mum and twirling around, I raced to the train and quickly boarded, as its engine came to life, its whistle blowing.

As I lugged my trunk down the corridor, I passed multiple compartments, looking into each one to see if I could spot Lily or Alice. Finally, after looking into about fifteen compartments, I spotted my red headed best friend, shoving a trunk onto the luggage rack above her head. I slid open the door and pulled my trunk over the threshold, almost toppling in the process.

"Hey there Haley," Alice said, not even looking up from the Daily Prophet she held in her hands.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked quizzically as I placed my trunk next to Lily's.

"You're the only person I know who trips on the threshold of train compartments every single time without fail," She said, laughing, looking up from the prophet, her eyes shining.

"She's right you know. You did the same thing the first day I met you," Lily pointed out, turning to face me. She eyed me up and down and continued, "Wow, you've changed over the summer Haley."

I pulled my sweater tighter around me, uncomfortable with their eyes.

"I don't think so, I look the exactly the same as I did last time I saw you guys. You two are just saying that," I responded, taking a seat next to the window. I always loved watching the scenery pass by.

"Come on Haley, don't be so shy; stand up and let's take a look at you!" Alice encouraged, as she pulled me to my feet.

I stood with my back to the window and shoulders slouched, facing my two best friends. I wore a cream knit sweater with wooden buttons along the side and a white v neck shirt underneath. I let go of the sides of the sweater and let my hands fall to my sides as they looked me up and down, each of them nodding and smiling.

"It's like your body has grown up over summer!" Alice said, almost giggling. I knew what she was talking about. My once flat chest had developed over the summer, along with the thinning of my legs and tummy. I did quite liked the changes. They meant that I no longer possessed the chubby looks of a child, but at the same time, I was uncomfortable with the changes as well. My mum had insisted on pointing it out to all of the family while I was in the room which resulted in them each taking turns to discuss how much I'd changed.

I'd always hated being the centre of attention; it just wasn't me. I was much more content to sit in the background like I always did.

"I've got to head to the Prefect's compartment; I'm supposed to see who the Head boy is and talk to the new Prefects. I'll be back after," Lily said, leaving the cart and heading off down the corridor.

I took a seat next to the window again and faced Alice. Alice had been lucky enough to spend nearly her entire summer in Italy with Frank. I couldn't help but feel a tiny twang of envy.

"So how was your summer? How was Italy?" I asked her.

"It was amazing! It most beautiful place I've ever seen. One day, he and I are going to go back! You know, live there and grow old and all that. He told me he was going to marry me the other day! He really is the one for me, Haley," She was lighting up the way she always did when someone brought up Frank.

"I'm so happy for you, Alice! Everyone has always known you two would be together forever. When he sees you, it's like the two of you are magnets, he never leaves you're side unless he has to," I said beaming. And I really was happy for her, but at the same time I was just a little jealous that my friend had found her soul mate and here I was, never even been kissed.

"Meet any cute boys this summer?" She asked, expectantly.

I know she wanted me to say yes; she and Lily were always trying to find someone for me. I knew their intentions were good, but it never failed to make me feel awful about myself. Here I was, seventeen and enjoying my last year at school, ready to make my way into the wizarding world as a Healer, and I had never been kissed, never gone on a date with a boy, never even been asked on a date with a (normal) boy. I didn't want to spend the entire year being pushed towards boy after boy that I knew would never talk to me, so I went with the only obvious solution. I lied.

"I did," I answered, blushing slightly from the lie. Luckily, I think she probably saw that as me blushing because I was embarrassed of the memories the fake boy and I had shared.

"What's his name?" She asked excitedly, jumping a little in her seat.

"His name, is, Jeff. He's a muggle that just moved in down the street from me. I ran into him at the corner store," I said, hoping it would pass off as a likely scenario.

"Ooh! What does he look like? Have you two snogged yet?" She asked, desperate for details. I thought for a moment, trying to think of what Jeff would look like if he existed.

"He's got light blue eyes and this really dark brown hair, uh, really good looking, you know? We've hung out once or twice, though we haven't snogged yet. I know it won't go anywhere though," I hoped that this would deter any future questions about him.

Just then, the door to out compartment slid open and in came James Potter, followed by Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, thankfully saving her from any more questions about "Jeff".

"Hello James," Alice greeted him, rolling her eyes and bringing the prophet to her face again.

"Hey Alice," The scrawny boy said, as he took a seat next to the door, "Don't mind if I wait here for Lily, do you?" He said, eyes scanning the corridor before focusing on the occupants within the cart.

"Regardless of what I say, you're not going to leave, are you?" She replied,

Peter took a seat beside me and I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't very tall and he was slightly chubby. I never understood why he hung out with them; he never really fit in at all, though they seemed not to care.

"Hey there, you won't ignore us like mean old Alice here, will you?" Sirius asked placing an arm around Alice which she shook off.

I turned to face him, amazed that he was speaking to me. Whenever James was following Lily, Sirius would usually turn his attention to Remus or Peter; so why was he looking at me?

I gave a quick nod in his direction, my face growing slightly hot. I wasn't used to attention from someone like Sirius Black. He chuckled and started trying to get James' attention by pulling him into a Quidditch oriented conversation. I turned my attention to the landscape flying by the window, hoping nobody would notice that my cheeks had now well and truly turned a light shade of pink.

Once again, I heard the compartment door slide open, turning this time, to face Frank Longbottom. He was a taller guy, a little chubby around the middle, with slight buckteeth. Personally not my cup of tea, but Alice was looking at him like he was the king of good looks. He swiftly moved over and sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her entire frame as she rested her head on his chest. Feeling like I was intruding on something private, I quickly looked away and my eyes found Sirius, who was looking at me with a quizzical expression.

"Why don't you ever talk?" he asked me, his black shaggy hair falling carelessly in his eyes. I felt my cheeks heat up again and I avoided his gaze, hoping he wouldn't notice.

"I talk plenty. I just haven't talked since you came in, that's all." I said, bringing my eyes to him when I finished, and judging by the smile on his face, he must have noticed my blushing.

"Don't pick on her Padfoot, she's Lily's best friend. I don't need her thinking my friends are harassing hers," James said seriously, ruffling his black hair as he looked at me.

"I'm not picking on her, just asking a question. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever heard her talk other than right then. Have you?" He asked turning to James who thought for a moment, then slowly shook his head.

"What about you Wormy? Have you?" Sirius said facing Peter. I turned to see Peter racking his brain and then shake his head along with James. I was becoming uncomfortable with the way this conversation was turning, but unfortunately, Alice was too wrapped up in Frank's presence, to even notice.

"I've been following Lily around for years, and not once have I heard you speak a single word," James said, looking straight at me.

"Why don't you like talking when we're around?" Sirius asked, a smile playing on his lips.

This was a game to him and I wasn't amused.

"I'd rather not get wrapped up in your silly antics, thanks very much." I snapped, getting defensive and irritated rather quickly. I'm not usually the type of person to let my temper get the best of me, but I couldn't seem to help it just now for some reason. He faked a hurt expression and he now had the eyes of not only James and Peter, but also Frank and Alice. I could feel my cheeks grow hotter.

"And what silly antics are you referring to?" He asked, chuckling.

"Oh come on, everyone knows; you two love being the centre of attention. I mean, You torture that kid Severus, always bothering him and playing nasty pranks, just because he's a Slytherin," I said, remembering all the horrible things Lily told me they had done to the poor boy.

"How do you know he didn't deserve it, right James?" Sirius asked, turning to his friend for support, though he received none, for at the moment, Lily appeared in the doorway with Remus behind her. She seemed to radiate anger.

"James Potter, you and your friends need to get out of this compartment at once!" She hissed, staring at him with a formidable glare.

"But Sirius said that, not me! He and your friend were talking and he brought it up. Don't get mad at me, Lils'!" James pleaded, trying to worm his way out of being banned from the same compartment as her.

I looked at Lily and saw that her expression did not waver; the only solution would be for him and the rest of the Marauders to simply leave. They must have realized that also because they all filed out, heading back to their own compartment one by one.

"I can't stand him! He never leaves me alone. He's always at my heels. If he asks me out again this year, I swear to Merlin, I will hex him into oblivion. He knows nothing about me and I can't even talk to a normal boy because he manages to find out and ruin everything. I can't stand him, ugh!" Lily yelled in frustration, as she collapsed on the seat next to me.

"You never give him the chance to get to know you though, Lily, so he never leaves alone. He doesn't know enough about you to hate you." Alice said smartly which only made Lily sigh heavily.

They continued chatting about something but I wasn't really paying much attention; my mind was on Sirius. If I was being truthful, I had to admit, I did find him _slightly_ attractive; the way his black hair fell into his grey eyes. I certainly understood why many girls swooned at the sight of him and I used to think I certainly never would. Oh, how wrong I was.

The Hogwarts Express came to a halt as we pulled into the station, rain still pouring down. I followed Lily and Alice off the train, trying my best to not slip in the sticky mud. Though to my dismay, as I walked over to the carriages, I tripped and landed in the mud though. Thankfully, I managed to put my hands out in front of me so I wouldn't fall flat on my face. I heard chuckles from students all around but one more distinct than the rest; a bark like laugh from behind. I stood up, face burning from embarrassment, and tried siphoning the mud off me with my wand, though with no light to see where all the mud was, I wasn't sure how much I had gotten off. I sighed and pulled myself into the carriage, taking a seat beside Lily who was talking to Frank about NEWT's. Alice just looked at me as I sat down, shaking her head, not at all surprised that I had fallen. We arrived at the castle promptly, and I practically ran through the front doors, letting the warmth seep through my school robes.

Professor McGonagall was standing in the doorway, overseeing the students that were entering. She took one look at me and shook her head, just like Alice had, before cleaning my robes with a swish of her wand.

"Thanks Professor," I smiled, examining my mud free robes.

"You welcome Miss Carlson, though please try to stay out of the Hospital Wing this year," She said as I made my way to the Great Hall.

I spotted Lily, Alice and Frank, already at the Gryffindor table._ They must have walked right past me,_ I thought as I went over to join them, taking a seat directly opposite to them. Just as I sat down, James hurried over, taking a seat next to Lily, followed by the three other Marauders. Remus took a seat next to me, followed by Peter, while Sirius sat next to James.

I looked to down the hall, to the door to see McGonagall enter with the Sorting Hat in one hand and a roll of parchment in the other. She was followed by a group of shivering first years. Poor things had to cross the Black Lake in this awful weather. I never paid much attention to the sorting, I mean, why would I? It's not like I would talk to any of the new students and I didn't have any family coming to the school anytime soon. I usually just zoned out during the sorting, clapping when I saw people around me doing the same. Lily kicked me just then under the table and nodded her head to the podium, where Professor Dumbledore was standing, waiting for the students' attention, though he never had to wait long.

"Welcome, to another year at Hogwarts. I trust everyone had a good summer, though now it's time to fill our heads with knowledge. I won't keep you long as I suspect you all are hungry, so to you I say tuck in!" Dumbledore said, smiling all the while. With a wave of his hands, food appeared up and down the table and I directed my attention to the heaping bowl of mashed potatoes with gravy in front of me and piled it on my plate. If I had to eat one food for the rest of my life, it'd be mashed potatoes, hands down. I poured myself a goblet of pumpkin juice and quickly dug into the food in front of me.

As dinner wore on, the Great Hall was getting louder and louder as more people were focusing on talking and not the welcome back feast. As I set my goblet back down, none other than Remus Lupin tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.

"Hey, you're Haley right?" He asked, his golden flecked eyes shining as he smiled.

"Yeah, that's me," Was all I managed to say in return.

"I'm Remus," He said as he held out a hand for me to shake. Slowly but surely, I shook his hand, amazed that we were having a conversation. I really am incredibly shy.

"Yeah, you're Head Boy this year with Lily, right?" I said, trying to not seem like a complete ditz.

"Yeah. Was that your little brother you were hugging on the Platform back in London?" He asked, seeming like he was genuinely interested.

"Oh, yeah that's him. His name's Timothy," I informed him. I don't know why, but talking to him made me nervous. Remus I mean, not Timothy. I played with my hair, twirling it over my shoulders while hoping to make the feeling go away. I obviously wasn't used to all this attention from a guy.

"He looks just like you," He said, once again smiling.

Remus was always wearing shabby looking clothes, but for some reason, no one ever really paid attention and focused more on his dashing good looks. His sandy brown hair really made the gold flecks in his eyes pop and he had a way of capturing you with a warm smile, though I doubt he even knew what he was doing.

"You think so?" I asked, amazed that he thought we looked alike.

"Yeah! Don't you?"

"Well, no. I never saw it. We have different fathers so I never really looked for the similarities between us," I finished in an off-hand voice.

"Oh, well, I completely see the resemblance between you two," He said before turning back to the table and focusing his attention to the dessert that had now appeared along the table.

I was full from all of the potatoes, so I just sat back and observed everyone around me.

Maybe this year was going to be different. Maybe this year, I was going to have to stop being so shy.


	3. Time for Class

I opened my eyes groggily. I could feel my whole body being shook around. I looked up to see Alice, shaking me awake, smiling almost maniacally. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, upset that I couldn't sleep longer.

"Wha' time is it?" I mumbled, still half asleep. I slowly sat up, stretching my arms as far as I could above my head as I let out a long yawn.

"It's nearly seven now, come on and wake up. You don't want to be late on your first day of classes now, do you?" Alice asked in a chipper voice before bouncing back to her bed to start brushing her hair. I groaned softly, how could I forget about the first day of classes. I moved over to my trunk, pulling out the uniform I had packed on top, and then walked over to the bathroom connected to our dormitory.

Most people would think that sharing a bathroom with five other girls would be absolutely awful, but it's actually not that bad, at least not when the bathroom is the size of the common room. One wall had five sinks on it, each complete with its own mirror and counter space, while the other had five individual bathroom stalls, complete with a shower. It wasn't half bad if you asked me; especially when you think about the bathrooms in Muggle public schools.

I quickly hopped into the shower, brushing the tangles out of my hair at the same time. Feeling as if I was pressed for time, I rushed the shower, which, mind you, was something I _never_ did. I used a simple quick dry spell for my hair, deciding to just leave it down with a simple black headband in it, then quickly got dressed and rushed out the bathroom, hoping Alice and Lily didn't leave without me.

Thankfully they were waiting for me just outside the portrait hole and once I joined them, we all made our way down to the Great Hall, wondering what our schedule had in store for us. Alice entwined her arm with mine as we walked down, I looked over to her, her black hair hanging straight around her face, part of it clipped back in a little barrette. She was dressed in her uniform and hadn't really done anything with her hair, but she looked beautiful. Both of my friends did. A twang of jealousy stabbed at my heart as I pictured myself in my mind's eye, drab and boring compared to them. Finally we arrived in the Great Hall, which was particularly rowdy today. Students must have been anxious to get to their first class of the day.

The Heads of Houses were moving along each table, passing out the schedules and trying to point confused first years in the right direction. The three of us strategically took a seat at the end of the table, so we would have time to eat a quick breakfast before Professor McGonagall reached us.

"I hope we have Herbology today," Alice said, the hope clearly evident in her voice. She always excelled in Herbology though unfortunately struggled in Potions. Though Slughorn was a fairly easy teacher, she simply couldn't mix a solution to save her life. Lily and I both knew that it would be just the two of us in Potions class this year.

Professor McGonagall eventually made her way to the three of us and handed us our schedules. I quickly scanned mine and saw that the last class of the day was double Potions. Not many students had the grades to get into N.E.W.T.s Potions , so all four houses had class together. I didn't mind though, I loved Potions and it never really bothered me. As long as I had Lily in class with me, I would be fine.

Alice had History of Magic for her first class of the day and I felt awful for her. That class was by far the most mind numbingly dull class at Hogwarts. The ghostly Professor Binns (no literally, he was a ghost) had clearly never been informed of his horrendous monotone, and so just droned on and on, sending every student into a comatose state. It was the worst during the summer, when the class was about a hundred degrees, which combined with his voice induced the feeling of dying a slow, fiery yet boring death. Well except for Lily, she never fell asleep during class.

My classes that day passed by fairly quickly, the professors wasting no time and jumping right into the lessons. Before I knew it, I was walking through the dungeons with Lily by my side, entering the Potions classroom and taking a seat at the front.

While the rest of the class filed in, I took out my Potions book and laid it in front of me, ready for Slughorn to dive right into the lesson like all the classes had beforehand. He made his entrance from a door off to the side of the classroom. He waddled in, making his way to the front of the class. Slughorn was a short man, very wide around the middle and with a head full of thick, dark brown hair. He had taken a shine to Lily the instant he had met her; he found her charming and bright, and was always invited her to the parties for the club he put together of all his favourites. It was called the Slug Club, though it wasn't really a club, rather a get together once a month so he could talk about all the important and influential people he knew, according to Lily.

Contrary to what I though, instead of diving into the lesson, he started talking about N.E.W.T.s and what we should be expecting. I never really was one to pay much attention to lectures like this. I always did much better with hands on things, so I zoned out, letting my mind wander. Usually when this happened, I liked to look around at my classmates and watch them. That makes me sound like a creep, I know, so, let me clarify. I don't watch them in a sort of stalker way, my eyes just tend to fall on them and then I zone out and think about other things.

Unfortunately, Lily loved sitting in the front of the class, so here I was, zoning out with nobody to look at other than Professor Slughorn. At least he thinks I'm listening to him. A sharp pain shot through my leg out of nowhere, and I turned to Lily to see her pointing at Slughorn. He had his back towards the class as he waved his wand at the board, instructions appearing.

"Now I want everyone to pair up in groups of two. For the next couple of weeks you will be working with a partner. You will choose an advanced potion to brew and then write an essay about the process for me. It will be due in two weeks time!" Slughorn said, bouncing from the heel of his foot to his toes.

Once he finished saying this, everyone in class moved closer to whoever they were sitting with, quickly making sure they were partnered up with a friend, but Slughorn wasn't finished talking.

"I will be picking your groups though so don't get too excited! Mr Lupin with Miss Evans; Mr Pettigrew with Miss Lestrange; Mr Potter with Mr Snape; Mr Black with Miss Carlson…" Slughorn kept naming the groups but I'd already tuned out.

He had paired Lily with Remus and now I was to be paired up with Sirius Black. Are you kidding me? I wanted to get up and just leave the class right then and there. I didn't want to work in a group with him, I'd much rather work with Lily. I didn't want to have to deal with social awkwardness when I was trying to do work.

He finished naming the groups and everyone had to get up and move to their new partner. Lily flashed me a sympathetic look as I picked up my book and searched the room for Sirius. I quickly spotted him towards the back of the class and I made my way over, taking a seat next to him.

I looked to him expectantly. After a few moments it dawned on me that he was fast asleep; the nerve! I sat there for about ten minutes as other groups started looking through the book and picking all the good potions, waiting for my partner to finally wake up. Angrily, I kicked his chair with a lot more force than I had anticipated and I ended up knocking the chair over, taking Sirius with it.

The sound of the crash was enough to capture the attention from the entire class. I felt my cheeks turning a startling red and quickly hid my face in my book. I don't know why I was the one embarrassed, he was the one on the floor.

"Whatcha do that for?" He growled at me as he picked his chair back up, wide awake.

"You were sleeping through class," I answered shortly, hoping this would suffice as a decent explanation.

I opened my book and started flipping through the pages, searching for an interesting looking potion.

"You've come to keep me company back here then?" he asked, a mischievous smile playing at his lips; I guess he was already over falling over in front of the whole class.

"Actually, while you were busy sleeping, Slughorn assigned us a project and it seems that you and I are partners. Now help me find an interesting potion!" I demanded, flipping through a couple more pages before noticing he didn't even have a book with him.

"We're partners?" He asked.

I nodded quickly, looking at him like he was crazy, "I'm pretty sure I just said that. Didn't you hear me?"

He didn't answer, but just smiled and turned to face me, giving me his utmost attention.

I shifted uncomfortably before turning back to my book.

"So what will we be working on together?" He quizzed, sliding the book away from me and bringing it to him, riffling through the pages.

"We have to pick a potion, brew it and write two rolls of parchment on its history and the process of making it," I slid the book back towards me.

"So what potion should we pick?" Pushing his black hair out of his grey eyes, he slid the book back to him, playfully.

"I don't know, I've just started looking, obviously," Slowly becoming annoyed with all of this, I pulled the book back towards me, with an air of finality.

If he had just been awake for class, I wouldn't have to answer these dumb questions. He must have sensed my annoyance because he smiled at me before scooting closer, pointing out the occasional potion here or there that sounded interesting. We ended up picking the Draught of Peace. After class ended I waited for Lily by the door, wanting to walk up to dinner together.

"I'm so happy with who Slughorn assigned me! Remus is brilliant and definitely knows his way around a cauldron. We're going to do great on this project. How's your partner? You pushed him out of his seat, don't even try denying it, I saw!" She was beaming joyously at the events that took place in potion.

"I didn't_ push him_, it was more of a slight _kick_. I really didn't mean to though. Honest!" I testified, truly meaning it. I had just wanted him to wake up.

"Well I bet you've got his attention now. Not many people would actually _kick_ him out of his chair other than another Marauder," She chuckled as we climbed the steps back up to the Great Hall.

"I don't want his attention," I sighed to myself as we both walked over to the Gryffindor table, taking a seat and piling some food onto our plates.

Shortly after, Alice and Frank made their way over, sitting across from us. We were all talking about how our classes had been when Lily groaned softly next to me, staring at the entrance to the Great Hall. The Marauders had just walked in and it looked like they were headed over this way.

"I don't want him to sit here," Lily whispered, giving all her attention to the food on her plate.

Luckily for her, they ended up walking right past us, taking a seat a little ways down.

"Thank Merlin," She sighed, before picking up the conversation where we had left it. I watched the four boys talking, all huddled close together. Whatever they were saying, they certainly didn't want to be overheard.

Just then, Sirius looked up at me, noticing I was watching, and scooted closer to the others in response, positioning himself in front of the others so they were blocked from view. Embarrassed for being caught staring, I looked away, focusing on refilling my goblet.

The rest of the evening passed by in a blur. Lily had gone off to patrol the corridors with Remus, while Alice was fast asleep in the dormitory.

I sat underneath the window in the empty common room that overlooked the black lake, trying my best to master the Bubble Head charm for class tomorrow. If I didn't get this down, I would be assigned extra homework, which wasn't my cup of tea. I sighed angrily, glancing down at my watch and noticing it was almost eleven already. If I didn't go to bed soon, I'd be a wreck for the first class of the day, which I believe was Transfiguration. Muttering the incantation wrong for the billionth time, I threw my book across the room angrily, cursing the subject along with the charm.

"Watch where you're throwing things!" A voice yelled from the couch, making me jump.

"I thought I was alone," I apologized, getting up to go get my book. Before I could get there, Sirius got up, book in hand and walked over to me.

"Need any help with the charm?" He asked, handing me my book.

I sighed angrily, turning around and taking a seat back underneath the window.

"I'll get this spell on my own," I muttered angrily, trying once more and failing. I slammed my wand down on the ground angrily, red sparks erupting from the end. "I hate charms!"

"Calm down there, I'd rather not have you catching the rug on fire now," He joked, taking a seat next to me, "It took me a couple tries to get that charm down too. You sure you don't want my help now?" He implored, a sincere look on his face.

"Positive!" I grumbled.

There was no reason for me to be rude to him; I just wasn't very good at failing to be able to perform a spell. I saw him shrug his shoulders out of the corner of my eye before he got back up and walked back to the couch. I sat there, trying to get the charm down for another half hour or so before Lily and Remus returned. They both walked in laughing, before going their separate ways. She walked towards me, her red hair bouncing up and down in her ponytail with each step.

"Bubble-Head charm?" She asked looking down at me. I probably looked like a mess, my hair falling out of my ponytail, mascara darkening my eyes from when I started rubbing them due to exhaustion. I looked up at her, a defeated look on my face, and nodded slowly. She laughed softly, taking a seat next to me. "It's all about the incantation. It's the pronunciation of the 'u' that gets almost everyone stuck," She said knowledgably.

Remus and Sirius walked past us just then, headed up to the boys dormitory. Halfway up the spiral staircase, Sirius turned around and looked at me before saying one simple word.

"Ebublio," He stated, pronouncing the spell correctly, before turning around and following Remus through the doorway.

I sat there a little longer, staring at the empty staircase before turning back to Lily and my wand.

"Ebublio." I said softly, finally getting the spell right. A small bubble appeared around my nose and didn't end until about under my chin. I had successfully cast the damn charm after way too many hours of practice. I waved my wand once, vanishing the small bubble, before looking at Lily in defeat.

"He offered to help me about a half hour ago."

"Why didn't you take his help? You could have gone to bed earlier. You look bloody terrible!" She looked at me sympathetically, picking up my charms book and pulling me to my feet.

"I wanted to do it by myself," I responded, following her up to the girl's dormitory. She dropped my charms book onto my bed as I headed to the bathroom to take a shower before I slept.

I let the steam fill up the whole room before I stepped in. I let the hot water work out the kinks through my body that I got from sitting on the floor hunched over my Charms book all night. I stood there for a good half hour before remembering I needed to be sleeping. I hurried out and quickly threw on my pajamas before hopping contentedly into bed.

Dozing off before my head even hit the pillow, my dreams were full of a handsome boy with dark, shaggy hair and startling grey eyes.


End file.
